"Befriending Your Body" by Carrie Ives

I have a somewhat conflicted relationship with my body. On one hand, I feel like it’s doing the best it can, and I know how much it has been through. On the other hand, really?! It seems like there’s something new every month or two. I might get one symptom under control, just in time for something else to pop up. If I have plans - whether it’s a zoom meeting or a date night or a trip - I always have to factor in ‘what if my body has an issue?’ It can feel like a consistent disappointment, if not outright betrayal.

Would I put up with this kind of behavior from someone else? Well, actually… Yeah, I would. I tend to be a lot more compassionate and patient with my friends and family than I am with my own body.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about what it would be like to ‘befriend’ my body. I tend to be way more judgey about my body than I am about other people. If a friend tells me they are stressed and overwhelmed, and they just need to nap or be in a quiet space for a while, I’m proud of them for taking care of themselves! If a family member says ‘hey, I’m feeling fussy… oh I didn’t have lunch,’ I don’t roll my eyes at them. Usually I’ll offer to help them get some food. (Okay, I might roll my eyes. But I still would help them.) With my own body, if I feel overwhelmed prior to a meeting, I’m more likely to tell myself to suck it up. I’ll get frustrated at myself for not getting lunch, then only get the bare minimum.

I’ve been experimenting with being kinder to myself. It’s like the inverse of the Golden Rule: “Do for my body, as (I would hope) I’d do for others.” If I’ve had a long day, I’m practicing telling my body, “goodness, that was a lot. You did well.” And when the other part(s) of me reply, “But I didn’t do this priority thing,” the friend-to-me part can reply, “That’s ok. You did what was *most* important, which is taking care of yourself and what comes up in the moment.”
It’s not necessarily easy to make a shift in how I talk to myself or how I think about my body. It’s definitely a work in progress. But then, we’re always growing and changing - so we’re always a work in progress.

~Carrie

P.S. If you have a complicated relationship with your body and would like a place to explore and practice this idea of ‘befriending’ it, you might consider the group sessions I’ll be facilitating. They are monthly on Monday afternoons, free, and you can drop in or out as you please. The first one is Feb 17.

For more info, please visit: https://www.rollingridge.org/event/soul-care-befriending-the-body-18779302