"The Ebb & Flow" by Elena Goodrow

I’m coming to you this week from the very rainy North Georgia mountains, sitting in my pajamas on my couch as my dog sleeps next to me. A gloomy fog looms over my head, yet I’m not sure why. Shall we talk about it together?

Life has a constant ebb and flow of emotions. It can feel quite overwhelming at times yet it’s also so beautiful. Humans can experience so many feelings in the span of a week, or even a day - it’s incredible that we have that capacity. I’m a strong believer in letting yourself feel all of these feelings, even the not so good ones. Letting yourself process each emotion that comes to the surface can feel both exhausting and freeing at the same time. The human experience is truly tiring and yet so beautiful. That being said I typically have a difficult time understanding where my feelings are coming from. I feel them as they arise yet I must discover the reasoning behind them. I have the urge to understand everything around me to the deepest possible extent. Unfortunately that isn’t always possible, let’s take today for example. I’m lucky to have my life in a good spot at the moment. I have a new job that I love, I’m in relatively good health, I’m surrounded by people that love me, I’ve been having dance parties lately, I’m taking care of myself, and I’m doing things that bring me joy. Plus I’m excited that my birthday is this weekend, so why do I feel this overwhelming dread today? Perhaps it’s the rainy weather, I am missing the sunshine. Maybe it’s the current eczema flare up I’m having. Maybe it’s the fact that I still haven’t taken all the boxes from my Accredo shipments to the recycling center so they’re still in a pile at my front door. I don’t know exactly what is bringing me down, and as frustrating as that can be I’m trying to be okay with it. I’ve made a cup of tea, watched a silly rom-com, cuddled with my dog, and anything else I can find that nourishes my soul. Life is full of feelings being thrown at you left and right, and we’re left to figure out how to deal with them. I try to focus on the beauty of it all, the magic of the human experience. If I only focus on the frustration and stress I don’t know what I would do with myself. I need these pockets of joy scattered around to remind me of life’s glory. 

I don’t know why I’m down today but I do know ways I can lift myself up and that is what truly matters. Where are you coming from today? What emotions have you had the gift of feeling this week, and how do you lift yourself up when it gets hard? I would love to hear everyone's thoughts on my musing this week, and I hope you are all well!