Learning from August

I don’t consider myself to be a superstitious person… but I do have the tendency to search for patterns in life. Sometimes, a crazy coincidence occurs. Once that coincidence ends up happening over and over again and each occurrence connects, that’s when I start to pay attention. 

For the past 6 years of my life, a major life-altering traumatic event has happened in the month of August. It began with a terrible car accident that changed my family forever, and it carried on through the years with break-ups, more car accidents, friendships ending, and health issues. I began to notice this pattern after a couple of years, where my whole life seemed to change every August and it would take months afterwards to heal from it. I started to dread the month, and I would fight through each day ridden with anxiety and fear. This type of pattern-based fear is especially common in the CF community. I’ve shared my experiences with others and have found that I’m not alone. We tend to dread the winter months because of that inevitable cold that will knock us down for weeks. For me, I dread the spring months as they bring record-high pollen counts here in Georgia. Some people dread the holiday season, with the cold weather and large crowds it’s more likely to get stuck on IVs with an infection. We all have those patterns in our life, and it’s difficult to live with that suspense.

I have worked hard for the past few years trying to help myself stay calm in the month of August. I used to hardly be able to drive during the month in fear of getting into an accident, since half of my August incidents have been related to car accidents. Now I can confidently say that I’m able to drive in August without having a panic attack, I can take deep breaths and get through it. My parents and my partner have helped me to see different perspectives. They tell me that if you’re searching for something bad, it’s going to happen. It’s the theory of manifestation: think positive, positive things will happen. I had a good feeling that August this year was going to be different. I had lots of exciting things lined up for the month, and they kept me distracted while also keeping me focused on the good stuff rather than the bad. I wrapped up my debut album, went on a lovely beach vacation with my partner, went to South Dakota to perform at a music festival (Breathe Bravely’s Backyard Bash!), and performed at a local music festival in Georgia along with a few other gigs. I also started pursuing new habits to help improve my health. This was the first time I was able to enjoy August for all the goodness it has to offer, and it was a relief. This experience of mine just goes to show that life will always be difficult, hardship will get dealt to us at inconvenient times, but the goodness of life will always prevail. There will always be a positive light to focus on, it can just take time to find it. It can also take time to create that positivity, just like how I intentionally scheduled exciting things throughout August this month. I encourage you to find your patterns, and look into what you can do to create positivity from them.