"My Pride" by Elena Goodrow

We have now entered the month of June; summer is upon us and the world picks up pace as all the kids get out of school and people begin to flourish during their summer activities and vacations. June is also the time of year where the LGBTQ+ community gets their spotlight during what is known as pride month! This is the month where people really focus on celebrating the LGBTQ+ community and the vast amount of love and kindness they bring to the world. 

Unfortunately, the topic of pride can be a sensitive one. It brings up much controversy among some people and while that is sad I also try to understand that not everyone is comfortable talking about these topics for a variety of reasons and that is okay. I don’t wish to say anything that diminishes the experiences of others or brings up feelings of discomfort. In honor of pride month I’m going to speak about some of my experiences recently that have brought me closer to the LGBTQ+ community, and my stories may not resonate with others. My experiences are going to be very different from others and that is a beautiful thing. I hope you enjoy hearing what I have to say and that you appreciate the differences in all of our lives as much as I do. 

I came out 5 years ago, when I realized that straight people don’t usually think about kissing girls the same way I did when I was 15. (Crazy, right? I just thought everyone thought about it.) My best friend told me she was bisexual and I was so intrigued listening to her talk about it, and found myself relating to a lot of the things she said. As the years went on I slowly became more comfortable settling into my queer identity, but just in the past year I’ve felt more myself than ever. Recently, my partner Lavender and I broke up. We were together for 4 years, and it felt scary to let go of that comfort and familiarity. However the reality was that we are completely different people from when we first got together, we had grown so much and discovered more about who we are. It made us realize that we want different things now and that is okay. We have always been best friends, and quite honestly we both knew the breakup was coming long before it happened. It wasn’t messy or sad, it just felt right. We both felt happy and relieved to be able to truly move on and continue to explore who we are. We are still roommates and best friends and I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Amidst the breakup we each wanted to put ourselves out there and try out some casual dating. This was such an interesting experience getting to connect with other queer people my age in the rural mountain town we live in. I discovered casual dating wasn’t for me, I like to get serious and deep quickly because my life simply warrants getting real with people pretty fast. CF usually comes up sooner than I’d like, especially if we are going out to eat and I slam 15 pills into my mouth. Typically they ask some questions. Other twenty year olds have a hard time comprehending the idea of being chronically ill, some of them haven’t been around illness before so it’s very overwhelming and I completely understand that. While I’m discovering that the casual dating world wasn’t a good fit for me, Lavender was meeting all sorts of people and loving it. We would each come home from a date and talk about how it was and it brought us closer than ever. She seems to enjoy the world of casual dating much more, and I love that we are each discovering these things. As we are both getting to know new people, our little cottage is a revolving door for the queer community. We’re having all sorts of lovely people over and getting to hear all sorts of stories from people growing up queer in different parts of the Southeast. Plus, my dog loves all the attention. 

Lavender has settled into polyamory, seeing that it’s a good fit for her. She has been seeing two lovely people that I’ve greatly enjoyed getting to know as they’ve been around the house. Also, I’ve found the more serious relationship I was looking for. I have an amazing girlfriend that has a deep understanding of CF and all the crazy things my life entails and I can’t wait to see what the future holds. 

I’m so thankful for the constant communication and honestly that has led me and Lavender to have such a beautiful experience discovering ourselves and bringing us closer to the LGBTQ+ community. Happy Pride to everyone!