"Tattoos & Taking Chances" by Elena Goodrow

Today I will be speaking on a topic that only recently became an important part of my life, and that would be tattoos! I got my first tattoo the week of my 18th birthday, but that wasn’t always my plan.

Growing up I was an actor, and that was a career I strongly pursued for 6 years. I had an agent for film/tv and an agent for modeling/print ads. I frequently got new headshots taken, went to weekly acting classes, and sent in auditions several times a week. After so much hard work with almost no feelings of success or satisfaction, I knew it was time to reconsider my career choice. The film industry is extremely selective and difficult to be a part of, and it wasn’t bringing me enough joy to make all the hard work feel worth it. I went on to realize that my one true passion was music, and pursuing music gave me the feeling that I had been searching for all those years. Not that the music industry is any easier to “make it” in… but my goals had changed. I didn’t want fame or success, I just wanted to bring a community together through music, no matter how big or small. Now that’s a whole separate story, but let’s circle back around to tattoos.

The majority of my life I thought that tattoos and piercings were completely off the table since they’re frowned upon in the film industry. Casting directors wanted the actors to have a clean slate to work with when they styled the character, so that meant no tattoos. Although nowadays it has become more common for actors to have facial piercings and tattoos, that has been a very recent change. When I was involved in that world, any tattoo or piercing meant you wouldn’t be considered. I had begun contemplating ending my short lived acting career, but after so much time invested into it I didn’t know how to truly step away.

Once I started writing my own music and I felt more confident in shifting my focus onto that, I started to feel more comfortable with the idea of officially leaving the film industry. Taking my resume off casting websites was one of the first major steps. The next one was deciding to pierce my nose. I had been thinking about it for some time, but all of sudden it felt like a genuine possibility that wouldn’t have an impact on my career. So I did it! My family and I were traveling the country in an RV at the time, so I got my nose pierced in Washington state with my Mom and it was a great experience. After that, there was an entire world of possibilities. What if… I got a tattoo? I had fantasized about tattoo ideas but now that fantasy could be a reality. After our RV trip my family settled in the North Georgia mountains, and just a few months later I turned 18. I found myself perusing Instagram a month or so before my birthday and a good friend of mine posted about getting a tattoo from an incredible artist. I looked at the artist’s page and fell in love with her styles and botanical themes, all of the sudden I was paying the deposit for my very first tattoo. It felt surreal to be doing something that felt forbidden for so long, but I knew it was what I truly wanted. Having art on your body is so incredible, and it makes me feel amazing in my own skin. Tattoos are beautiful for those who want them, and I’m so glad that I realized it was something I wanted. After my first tattoo, I got 3 more that year. Some people have called me crazy or told me that I will regret it when I’m older. I tell them that it makes me happy and that’s what matters. Plus, I get tattoos that have meaning behind them. Each tattoo represents part of who I am and who I want to become. My tattoos will grow with me and will always be special.

Although the catalyst for my tattoo journey began with my departure from the world of acting, the reason tattoos mean so much to me goes even deeper into who I am at my core. I have quite a few permanent marks on my body, and I didn’t have a choice in that. My surgery scars show my strength and I wear them proudly, but it’s difficult to come to terms with the fact that those scars are permanent and you have no control over their presence on your body. All of the pain that the CF community goes through is something we must learn to accept, as we have little to no choice. We are in this fight against CF whether we like it or not. It’s the harsh reality we live in, the fact that we are constantly getting poked and prodded by needles or being cut into. These things are necessary to keep us alive and well, which is an incredible thing. However, wouldn’t it be nice if we could CHOOSE to be poked with needles? Rather than having no choice but to do your routine blood work, you could choose a beautiful design to be put into your skin. Receiving the gift of that art, rather than having blood taken from you. Picking out something meaningful to put on your body forever, an image that can sit next to our scars. It’s beautiful when those two things can exist alongside each other in harmony representing each part of who you are.

In case you’re curious, here are my tattoos and their meanings:

My first tattoo! Each flower in the bouquet represents a part of me.
The daffodil is my birth flower, they always bloom in Georgia on the week of my birthday and it brings me so much joy. The lavender sprig represents queer history and acceptance. The rose represents cystic fibrosis. The sunflower represents neurodivergence, and daisy represents staying connected to my inner child.

My second tattoo, the moon and saturn. This is a reference to the song “seven” by Taylor Swift. She's been my biggest inspiration for my music, and her songs have always had a big impact on me. The line in the song that my tattoo references is: “Your braids like a pattern, love you to the moon and to saturn. Passed down like folk songs, our love lasts so long.” This song is a celebration of childhood, which is also something near and dear to my heart. This tattoo also keeps me connected with space, which is something my parents have always encouraged. They would tell me how the world started as stardust, and when you’re feeling stressed just remember that it’s all just stardust and we can find the beauty in it all. 

This tattoo I got matching with my Mom. When I was little the two of us would go out on a Georgia summer night to search for honeysuckle and watch the fireflies. She did the same thing when she was little. It’s so special to be connected to my Mom through beautiful art, and whenever we look at our tattoos we think of each other.

My fourth tattoo is the Eastern Tiger Swallowtail butterfly, the state butterfly of Georgia. I see this butterfly everywhere I go and whenever I do I stop and take a breath. It reminds me to live in the moment as I watch its beauty flutter by. This is the tattoo I get complimented on the most, and it’s well deserved! The artist did an incredible job.

I just got this one in June, it’s a matching one with my partner of 3 and a half years. On important days to us we always found ourselves wearing our favorite socks. Mine are socks with beetles and hers have mushrooms on them. We got these tattoos of a mushroom and beetle to always keep those memories close to us, and also to remind us to stay grounded to the earth below. 

My tattoos bring me so much joy, they make me feel more like myself. My skin is a canvas for beautiful art and it’s such a gift to be able to have the autonomy to display artwork that represents who I am. I’m so glad I discovered that tattoos are something I want to be a part of my life, and I hope everyone reading this finds what brings them joy too. ❤️